Restraint

The past four days have included huge lessons in restraint. Some of these lessons I have passed and others I have failed. Take Friday night for example. The sheer quantity of food consumed by myself in that one day was ghastly...and boy did I pay for those bad decisions (the never to be seen photo of my enormous belly that could rival a pregnant woman's proves this...but you shall never know). Sometimes I pass though, like not partaking in the Outback Bloomin' Onion last night at dinner. I was pretty impressed with myself...until this afternoon after lunch I downed a bag of Ritz cheese and crackers and a mini bag of Frito's. Awesome. Restraint is a difficult thing to learn. No matter how many times I eat half a pizza by myself and feel like dying afterwards, I still will do it again. Why does it take so long to learn, especially when you encounter intense physical pain?

Then there is restraint in regards to the things that come out of my mouth...or out of my fingers in the case of emailing/blogging. Even with that delete button I find it hard to hold back sometimes. Do I really feel like my feelings, my opinions are really worth spewing out into the open regardless of how they are perceived? Apparently, the answer is yes, I feel they are worth it. So wrong, I know...but sometimes you just want your voice to be heard...even if it's not heard by an actual person...or perhaps even at all. Just knowing that your thoughts are "out there" makes you feel like a load has been lifted off your chest. Weird.

Perhaps what I have learned here is that restraint is an ongoing process...at least until it becomes natural (and who knows how long that might take!) So in conclusion, be patient with people like me...we'll beat ourselves up later anyway, you don't need to do it for us.