Crappy

So I'm a crappy pregnant lady...maybe not "crappy" but definitely not all sweet, bright-eyed, optimistic, dreamy and whatnot.  These are things I notice in the responses I have to people which apparently I have no filter for now that I am with child.  Case and point:

 

During 20ish week ultrasound:

Tech: ...and here's your baby!

Me: Aww, it looks kinda like the Terminator when all it's flesh gets melted off and it's just a metal skeleton!  That's awesome.  I've had heartburn so bad we were concerned the baby would have an Osama Bin Ladin beard by now.

Hubby: *sigh*

 

A few weeks later:

Any Number of Well-Meaning Friends: Wow, how many weeks are you now anyway?

Me: Um, 24, 26, 27....I can never remember, I think she's an eggplant now.  Produce is easier to remember than numbers.

Friends: Aren't you an accountant?

Me: But the numbers change every week and are always so close together...

 

Regarding changes to my body:

Friend: So, have you noticed your belly button start to change?

Me: My belly button is messed the heck up, man.  Seriously, messed the HECK up right now.  I have no idea what's going to happen to it when this is all over.

 

Me: You know what is good about this whole mess?

Hubby: What?

Me: I cannot imagine being this weight with no baby to blame it on.  I mean, it's exhausting carrying around all this excess weight...what if it was just "me"...that'd be gross.  I'm entirely too short for this.  I look ridiculous.  Talk about good motivation to lose the weight come spring!

 

 

Yes, I know I'm insane...and according to my weekly baby emails (that inform me of my produce-of-the-week) I am two-thirds of the way there!  Then perhaps I'll just go back to being my normal ridiculous self with a slightly more heightened comment-filter and people won't have to whisper to me, "Um, that was out-loud, but I'm going to pretend it was supposed to be in your head, k?"

 

I'm very thankful for my amazing friends who find me "funny" and not uncaring or (too) embarrassing =)