Coffee

My office pretty much has the worst coffee ever made by all of mankind.

I like coffee....and I know that I, personally, can make bad coffee...but even my nasty cup o' joe can't compare to the mug of nasty that is coffee from the 4th floor kitchen.

Perhaps I became too spoiled at my old job in the coffee department. It's not my fault that my old job included frequent trips to Starbucks as well as fresh brewed coffee made by my boss (of Colombian descent). I'm sure those two factors really have hindered my entire future in regards to coffee and my preferences, turning me into a bit of a coffee snob.

But this? This is NOT coffee.

I suppose there could be many reasons for this being quite possibly the WORST cup of coffee of my entire life, here are my top ten:

10. Who is "Cory Collection" and why must they insist on packing ground coffee only to be forced upon low level corporate employees?

9. Why does the 5th floor have a Flavia Coffee machine and 4th floor does not? (9b, why am I too chicken to use the coffee machine on the 5th floor?)

8. I sleep in and cannot brew my own coffee at home...maybe if our coffee machine had a timer...since going in and out of our bedroom would be sure to awaken Husband who would not be pleased...

7. I have been told it would be "irresponsible" to stop by my neighborhood Starbucks each morning before work...so I try to keep it down to once a week (although this week it was twice...and by this morning's events...should have been three times).

6. Our coffee comes in pre-measured pouches...of which we have 100s stuffed into various drawers in the kitchen.

5. My local gas station has better coffee (notice, gas station, not Sheetz station, since Sheetz coffee is far superior to the regular gas station...and I would totally settle for good ol' Mobil/Exon brewed coffee...)

4. It's gross and I dirtied my "real" coffee mug at work which I now have to wash rather than using a disposable cup (freaking Al Gore and his "Let's All Save the Planet" rants causing my office to desire energy efficiency!...which incidentally caused me to eat my lunch in a room in which the light repeatedly shut off because unlike most people, I can only assume, I sit still when I eat my lunch causing the lights to think the room is empty.)

3. Husband is not creating his signature lattes each morning for my enjoyment.

2. Who knows how long the coffee sits in the pot...I mean, it's disgusting, maybe only one person drinks it and they come in at 6:30am so by the time I decide to have coffee it's scorched?

and finally...

1. This cup of coffee is not a Tall Skim Extra Hot Peppermint Mocha.