Travel

So it's no surprise to anyone that knows me, but I hate traveling by air. The close quarters of the plane. The germs. The fear of plummeting to my death. The list goes on and on. This past week while traveling for work I noticed several weird things (in chronological order):

1. Jack Bauer narrating the TSA Security Announcements/Instructions is a bit freaky. I admit, while he's the face of terrorist crime fighting for America, it does not necessarily instill a sense of comfort in the weary traveler. On the other hand, he IS Jack Bauer...who else is going to rid the world of terrorists, I mean come on...

2. The lady in front of me in the security line attempts to take six (no exaggeration necessary, I counted) full-sized tubes of toothpaste in her carry-on luggage. I am fairly certain, after doing a little math, that 6 tubes of toothpaste, if completely emptied into the 1-quart "zip-top bag" allowed per traveler, would overflow and still not be allowed through security. Why so much toothpaste? Perhaps she was off to visit family who had no toothpaste...but then again if you were traveling to a land with no toothpaste, wouldn't you travel with more than just a carry-on and therefore store all your over-the-limit liquids in said checked-baggage?

3. In no "real world" would eating a hamburger be acceptable before 11am. In "airport-ville" chowing down on a greasy Five Guys burger is totally acceptable at 8am...for a family of four.

4. Why do people insist on crowding around where the line will be forming to board the airplane? Each boarding pass is given a group number. If you're Group 6, why do you rush to crowd the line-forming area when Group 1 is called? What do you intend to accomplish, besides pissing off other passengers? Who wants pissed off air-travelers? I know I don't, it probably poses some sort of safety hazard.

5. I admit it. I have come to the point in my life where I am distracted by babies. I am starting to find them all adorable (it's one thing to find your family and friends children adorable, quite another to say the same thing about a stranger...in my mind at least)...see Scrubs reference for a giggle. Well on one of my four flights I sat behind a small child, not quite a baby (I am not at that point where I can guess a child's age). He had black curls and was adorable. He would pop around the seat and smile at me. This was acceptable....until...towards the end of the flight the kid started sucking on the seat. That's nasty. Want to know what's nastier? He had the biggest booger I have ever seen coming out of him...while licking the seat. Ew.